24 days on AdvoCare - JT's results

Technically I should have wrapped up my 24 day challenge yesterday.

It didn't happen.

I got two days in on the max phase when I got the flu. It was brutal for a few days and during those few days I lived off crackers and soup. It was sad for me because I liked the consistency of what AdvoCare provided. I liked checking off my little boxes of what I had accomplished that day. Even though I did it for only a couple of days I hated jumping back in (like I should have) after so many days off. I still have my supplements which will be used soon! That's life though and it is in no way meant to get you down, you just have to buckle up and prepare to start again. 

My friend who started the same day didn't get the flu and pushed right on through completing his first 24 day challenge!! I am SO proud of him and all his hard work!

He lost a total of 18 pounds and 12 inches!! 

It's not a get skinny quick diet fad so if that's what you're expecting keep moving right along. 

This is teaching you to eat properly, often, while also taking supplements that your body needs. 

Remove all the trash. All the junk. All the stuff your body doesn't know how to process and you'll be amazed at your energy levels. The way you feel physically. The way you feel mentally. It's empowering. 

We incorporated 6 days of working out a week. We are training for a half marathon so running 4 days a week is mandatory. We also do weights to help tone our bodies. I saw the change and I certainly saw the change in my friend. Incredible!

Like I said, this takes hard work and dedication. It takes accountability and it takes the want to. You have to mentally prepare to lose weight the right way. AdvoCare can help you do that 

My co-teacher is still on her 10 day cleanse and has already lost 8 pounds!! She has started incorporating exercise as well and I am so excited to see her at the end. 

She even joined us at our 5:00am workouts!!

My other challenger is trucking along doing awesome!!!

I get so excited seeing these people change their bodies in a healthy way. I hope I can help others put one foot in front of the other and begin to get their life on track in regards to health. 

If you want to join me, please let me help! 

Snow days

I don't mind snow days. Really, I don't. I like them just as much as the next mom who is watching Peppa Pig and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse reruns nonstop. I like them as much as the next person who is trying to not give in to temptation, but is scrolling all through Facebook being bombarded with the never ending pictures of cookies, soups, and cakes.

 I like them as much as the next person who is trying to stay fit, but had to seriously weigh the pros and cons of whether a drive to the gym is worth it. 

I like them as much as the next person who is running out of ways to entertain their kids so letting them sit on top of the cabinets and pretend to be Bob Barker seems okay. 

I like them as much as the next person who wears a hat half the day because their two year old demands everyone wears a hat. 

I like them as much as the next person. The one who sees their house covered in beautiful white snow,  but also sees it as a prison.  

I like it as much as the next wife who thinks it will be fun to frolick in the snow with her husband until he spears her into the ground, shoves snow up her coat, and has her son throw an entire handful in her face while she's down. 

I like them as much as the next person. 

By that I mean a couple hours is good. Then? Then I'm done. 

Advocare 24 day challenge- 10 day cleanse

Two things I know for sure. 1.) Calories in 2.) Calories out

Simple science,  no?

I started the Advocare 24 day challenge 10 days ago. 

No, I didn't do it to lose weight. I'm perfectly happy with my weight actually. 

I decided to do it as a challenge to myself and to (honestly) be a support system for a friend. 

I am one of THE world's worst junk food eaters. Seriously, ask my husband, my mom, my dad, heck even Claire could vouche for me because she's my girl and likes them too. 

I visit the cupcake shop and the donut shop weekly. Pudding cups, homemade cookies, cheesecake, pies, anything just sign me up. I'm not really a candy girl unless it's frozen Reese's cups, Snickers bars, Twix, Butterfingers, or Three Muskateers. 

I am also a chip girl. Baked Cheddar and Sour Cream Lays will last all of a day in our house. 

This isn't to brag or say hey! Look at me! I'm the girl who eats what I want and doesn't gain weight. It's to say that there are better ways out there to feel good about yourself. 

I've only completed the cleanse. And that's just it...a cleanse. 

No, you won't be running to the bathroom every 10 minutes. Yes, you will be eating. No, you won't be starving yourself. Yes, you will be giving up the crap. No, you won't be deprived. 

You are eating 6 meals a day and healthy meals at that. Proteins, complex carbs, and fruits or veggies. 

It's a very easy "challenge" to complete really. The hardest thing, I think, for people to be successful is that they lack the want to. You either do, half way do, or don't. And the last two ways are the ways in which you cannot successfully complete your challenge. 

Before you get all, no crap Sarah. I get it. I was skeptical, too, at first because I "know" how to lose weight. I step on the scale every morning and every evening. I know my happy weight. It's 120. When I step on in the morning and it's up 2-3lbs I back off of my sweets and junk food for the day. I work a little harder in the gym. This is what has worked for me for years. 

Advocare has taught me to eat healthier. I already ate 6 meals a day. Easily. I run, I workout, and I am lucky to have a high metabolism so I am constantly hungry. During the cleanse I still ate often so I wasn't deprived. I just made better choices. No junk food, no dairy, no red meats, and no processed food.

I enter the max phase tomorrow. I'm excited to bring back dairy and red meats, but to also continue to make healthy food choices. 

There is a fiber drink taken the first three mornings of the cleanse and the last three. It's not horrible, but it's not good. I mixed it with my water and chugged it like I was back in college. I didn't even take a breath before finishing and drinking another cup of water as quickly as possible and then popping some gum. Mine was citrus,  but I hear peaches and cream is more tolerable. There is also amino acids and omega-3 fatty acids that you take at certain times of the day. Also, herbal cleanse pills and probiotics are provided. I was already on a probiotic so I just continued taking that instead. My favorite product that Advocare offers is Spark. It is a no sugar added energy drink. I love it! I don't drink many cokes at all so this just gives me a little pep in my step or a little more get up and go during my runs. 

I think the best part is that I am doing it with a friend. Yes, we both enjoyed crappy food so it's actually been fun texting each other joking around with how "miserable" we are. But that's just it, a joke. We both feel so much better. We are feeling leaner, healthier, stronger, and a whole heck a lot less sluggish. 

Accountability is key. That's why I like Advocare too. My best friend sells it and has always encouraged me to try it and I got as far as Spark. That's all I wanted, then. Once my friend ordered his my plan was to only give up sweets to be an encourager for him for the 24 days. The day before his challenge  started I decided to join him and I am glad I did. No, I haven't lost hardly any weight at all, but I didn't need to. I'm 5'3". 115 is my gross looking weight and 118 is, for me, my confident weight, and 120 is my comfortable weight. I've stayed right at that during the cleanse and don't expect the next 14 to produce that much more of a difference weight wise. 

I do work out and I am currently training for my third half marathon. It has made my workouts easier and my runs better getting all the junk out of my system. 

I also decided to sell Advocare. I even have my first challenger starting soon and I am so very excited for her. 

I love the way I feel and I am excited to see others feeling happy and healthier. So, if you want to try it let me know! (of course I had to get one shameless plug in there.)

Here's my results after 10 days: 

I'm down 3 lbs. Not that I can really tell,  but I do know my clothes fit looser. 

Closing the loop

I've been wrapped up in the all-consuming bubble for awhile. It's been hard, ugly, and quite frankly irritating. I've tried to rationalize. I've tried to talk myself up. Tried to busy myself with household tasks, but I always fell back into the hole.

Tuesday night was the worst night I've ever had. 

I had been relatively fine all day. I had my typical aches that I've had, so it wasn't anything new. The aches in my entire chest, ribcage, and back were present but when my mind was elsewhere I didn't notice them at all. 

Then it came out of nowhere. 

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't take a deep breath. I felt the area above my left breast tightening up and my back hurting. Pain radiated all through me. I was fidgety. I was afraid for Ryan to get more than a foot away from me. I was terrified that this was it. I was 100% convinced it was a heart attack because never had my panic attacks been so horrible. I don't think if you've ever had a panic attack you understand that actual fear that comes along with it. I was so scared. So scared that after I took my medicine and it didn't help I freaked out even more. I take half of my prescribed dosage because that's all I need. Yet, this night I needed the entire dosage which is still relatively low.

I was freaking out so much, I called my mom to come over. I also text my cardiologist because I honestly couldn't differentiate between heart attack or panic or attack or if I was just straight up losing my mind. He told me he was on the runaway and would be back in Little Rock and to just calm down and relax. Shortly my mother showed up and Ryan was able to take the kids and play with them so that they wouldn't be stressing me out more. Slowly, after talking to my mom and my medicine beginning to kick in I felt myself relaxing. I felt the pain subsiding. I felt myself being able to take deep breaths and I felt myself returning back to a normal state.

This episode was about 2.5 hours. It was hell. I said a lot of unlady like words and I probably freaked both my mother and Ryan out.

I was checked on later by the doctor who said I could come in on Friday for a full workup on my heart. I was embarrassed that it came to this, but honestly it was a mental block that I had.

Everything weighed so heavily on the fact that I felt "off". My mind completely took over my body and I was expected nothing but the worst at every single second of my day.

I was able to run 3 miles Wednesday and Friday morning with ease. I felt good. I felt confident. I didn't think about my heart, my pains, the "off" feeling. I just felt good. Yet, 30 minutes after it was gone.  I'll spare the details of my actual appointment, but I had a stress test. On ultrasound my heart looked perfect. After 10 minutes on the treadmill, my heart still looked perfect. We talked with Dr. Jones and thankfully he understood. He knew this was just one last little box that I needed to check off in order to get my life back.

I left that office confident. My head was held a little bit higher and I knew that the days ahead of me will be a little brighter. I thank God for the patience that I've received from my husband, parents, and my doctor.

My weekend was good. I asked Ryan yesterday if he thought it was weird that I had felt SO good the past two days? That there was no pain in my body. That I had laughed and smiled more that day that I had in a long time. He said no. He said that he knew that I was fine; I just needed justification elsewhere.

Next Monday I have my first therapy session. I'm looking forward to it. Honestly I sort of feel like I don't need it as good as my days have been, but I'm going. It's clear to me that stress and anxiety ruled my life for nearly two months.

I never in my life thought that I would have struggled with this. I have always been confident, upbeat, outgoing, and always had outlets. Running, working out, and blogging have always been my outlets but none of them helped my situation.

What Ryan went through me shook me to my core. It only came months later when I least expected it. Now, I'm just thankful that I "lost" two months of what could have been good months versus what could have been who knows how long. I'm honestly in a better place mentally and physically. Sometimes you just need that little boost of confidence and you have to figure out where it comes from. For me, it was an ultrasound of my heart to rule out problems and for me to be told what I was going through was justified. I'm sure I will have bumps in the road, but I also know that I have the proof that I am okay. That I have a life to live and it doesn't have to be in fear.

 

Because it's messy.

Having it all together. I like to believe that in my day to day life I've "got it together". If someone were to think of Sarah Davis, I would hope that they saw me as someone who has their ducks in a row and knows what they're doing. However, the last few months have been so hard for me. 

It's a journey. Life that is. You have your peaks and your valleys and while life is currently SO good it's also SO hard for me in many ways. 

I should back up and say that while Ryan was in the hospital I was good. Considering the situation, I truly held it all together. That came straight from the good Lord above and from my natural strength that I think I have. I'm a tough cookie. Self-declared. I give myself props for holding it together as well as I did during those incredibly tough days. Even after the hospital stay, the surgery, and having Ryan home I still was doing well. 

A couple months after Ryan was home my world flipped. Suddenly, things didn't feel right with me. 

I began to anticipate the worst. I feared for everything. I was scared. I was nervous. I was paranoid. I was afraid to sleep. Everything affected me in a negative way. This, mind you, was when Ebola was "it" as was the threat of ISIS (see: election time). I vividly remember sitting up at night waiting for something bad to happen. My bed scared me. The dark scared. I feared closing my eyes for what if someone woke up puking in the middle of the night. It was so tough and I was scared to tell anyone for fear of seeming like I had totally lost my mind. Especially Ryan. I was the tough one. I was the one that had it together, kept it together, and should have able to continue to hold it together, but I was failing. And that? That was more crippling to me than the actual "problems" I was facing. 

I began to lose sleep. I became moody and on edge and looking back now I see it. I still see it. At the time I was simply living in a bubble not believing that I had problems when in fact I did.  Then I began to have heart palpitations. They were terrifying because they happened so often. For three days I dealt with them. The longest I went without one was 10 minutes. I became obsessive about anticipating the next one. I sat with my fingers to my throat waiting for the next skipped beat. It was all consuming. Finally, I contact a cardiologist ( the one who was Ryan's) and he told me it was likely stress related and it should stop. When it didn't on that third day he offered to check me out for an ease of mind. I took him up on the offer and had a (normal) EKG as well as wearing a holter monitor for 48 hours. Once I knew I was going to go see him the next day I relaxed some and the skipping began to subside. On the way I began to feel silly because I wasn't having them nearly as much. That made me realize that maybe he was right. Maybe it was stress related. After talking (and shedding tears) it was decided I was most likely suffering from delayed affects from what happened over the summer. It was hard to accept because I honestly felt like that was all behind us and we were good. I guess I was wrong. I was prescribed anxiety meds to deal with the panic attacks I was having. Which if you've never had one they are hard to understand. I could be watching tv and then suddenly think of something and I instantly couldn't breathe. My vision became blurry, I was hot and sweaty, and my hands became clammy. I would have to immediately get up and go do something to get my mind off it, which was usually flossing. Don't ask me why? I guess it was just a focus and activity that had me focusing on doing something else. I wouldn't tell Ryan when I was having one. I simply would remove myself from the situation and come back after I had composure. 

The palpitations stopped completely and I felt like I was getting back to normal. Little by little. 

Then, I found a lump in my right breast. 

That sent me into a panic overload. I obsessively touched it and would try and find others. I would lay on the floor crying, worrying, telling Ryan to feel this or that and what he thought. It was a very difficult time waiting for my doctors appointment. I continued to have panic attacks. I had horrible chest pains that sent me to urgent care one evening where I had another (normal) EKG. I cried over everything. Everything was hard. Everything hurt. Everything reminded me of what we had went through as a family the months before. I was scared. Scared for my life. Scared for my babies. Scared for my husband. 

All in all I just lived in constant fear. 

I prayed and I prayed a lot. 

I asked for prayers on my behalf and on those nights that I publicly declared I was desperate for prayers I felt them and I felt a peace. But, who wants to be that person who asks constantly? I didn't. But then I learned sometimes we go through seasons of our lives where we need it. We need that support. We need people praying for us on a much more constant basis. And well, I'm currently in that season. 

I had my lump checked out and it was another fibroadenoma. I now have two. 

Getting an ultrasound and having the radiologist look at it eased a lot of fears. I could breathe again. It was a long couple of weeks/months but I'm slowly getting my life back. 

The medicine helped, but it was hard taking it. It still is when I needed it which has become very rare. I don't like feeling like I need something to make me feel normal. To make me relax. To make me realize that need to chill out and enjoy the now. 

I slept 7 hours last night. That's the longest I've slept consecutively in over 3 weeks. I've done some major work on my body. I look bad, I feel bad, and I was robbing my children and husband from quality time. 

I've got a plan now, with help of my husband and parents. My next step is therapy. I want my old self back. I want my normalcy. My positive outlook. My vibrancy. I know she's in there. She's hiding behind boulders scared to come out. Slowly the boulders are being chipped away inch by inch. 

Wyatt prays nightly for me. "To make mommy feel better." It's music to my ears that he prays for me because Lord knows I need them and they are being answered in time. 

So there. There's the open book that I always am. The good, the bad, and the very, very, ugly.

I know I haven't been myself and I know that people who have been around me have seen it. After Bunco night a friend mentioned they noticed I was off. This is why. At a girl's night I cried a few times when I certainly should have been excited and jolly. This is why. 

Priorities... Feeling like the old Sarah. I tell myself and others it's like post-traumatic stress disorder. Maybe, maybe not. Either way I know the last 6 months have been grueling in different way. I hope the next 6 are filled with an abundance of smiles, laughs, and love. And prayers. Lots of prayers.  

You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.  Isaiah 55:12

2014

2014. What a year. Doesn't every one say that at year's end? You look back, think about the highs and the lows and vow that next year is going to "be my best year yet!"

Honestly, it's hard to say 2015 is going to be any better than what 2014 produced. I grew more as a wife, mother, and follower of Christ than any other year. Of course, 2014 is going to always be the year that Ryan got sick, but my gosh there is so much GOOD that happened this year.

We celebrated 2 big birthdays this year.

Claire Elizabeth turned one. ONE! We did a "You are My Sunshine" themed birthday and she was surrounded by family and friends that love her so much!

We also celebrated Wyatt Hudson turning 3! He is so in love with laundry that I went with a laundry themed birthday party complete with washing machine birthday cake. He was so excited. Three is such a fun age. Yes, they are complete threenagers, but my gosh they are so funny and they truly get their little personality. By the way, Wyatt's rocks. That along with his southern drawl is almost too much.

 

Easter cuties!

We went to the Ducks Unlimited banquet where Ryan's chapter was award 5 awards. I was SO proud that he was chosen as the Area Chairman for the state of Arkansas. Such a proud wife. He words so hard for the ducks so it's always fun to see it paying off!

The biggest change for me was becoming a runner. I decided right before New Years that I was going to sign up for a half marathon and for some bizarre reason Emma decided to do it with me so we embarked on a running journey. It was so much fun going and doing all the races together!

I even completed not one, but two half marathons! I love the me time and look forward to more races in 2015!

 

I attended some fun concerts- Bruno Mars, Justin Moore, Eric Church, but by far the best was Garth Brooks!

Wyatt attended his first VBS at our church this year! It was so fun getting to hear from him about what he learned that day.


We had kittens this year. We were completely irresponsible and didn't get our cat fixed before she got pregnant so ended up having 5 kittens on our 4th wedding anniversary. What a great present, right?! 8 weeks post-partum Polly got fixed. Never will that happen again. Yikes.

We enjoyed some time on the creek with our friends!!

We had the hardest 32 days of our life. It's easy to let Ryan's illness define us. Define our year. Yet, I don't really want it to. He (we) were so blessed during all this. I don't call it luck and I cringe the few times I have heard it called luck. Luck had nothing to do with it. It was prayers, God's will, and faithfulness that pulled him through it. It still blows my mind that people still come up to us and make comments or ask how he is. Strangers. People who don't know us, but felt the calling to pray for him. It happened today in Chick-fil-A and it still warms my heart. God is good all the time!

We enjoyed time at home. With Daddy. As a family of 4 again.

Halloween was enjoyable. We went with the laundry theme yet again. Wyatt loved it!

I had my 10 year high school reunion and it was so much fun! It is mind blowing that I have been out of high school for that long. I had so much fun seeing all my old classmates together and to get a night out after all we had been through.

We have wrapped up the year with time in Branson, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.

2014  has been quite a year.

 

I trust in the Lord more than I ever have. I pray harder for others than I ever have. I have an enormous list of people that I am so thankful were apart of our lives this year. I look forward to 2015 and what it has in store for us as a family. Here's to you 2015!

 

Turning 29

I woke up to Ryan trying to snap a picture of me. It wasn't going to be pretty. At all. I'm a snotty, stopped up mouth breather with puffy eyes. I'm a phlegm spitting, nose blowing newly 29 year old and yet I'm thankful. 

I'm thankful for the husband who was here with me this morning to try and catch the less than stellar beast he woke up to. Or actually, came to wake up since real life happens and the two sickies (me and Wyatt) were sharing a bed while the healthy ones (Ryan and Claire) were on the other side of the house. I'm thankful I had my husband to laugh with as I wrestled away the phone to delete the photo. I'm thankful I had a little boy crying that his daddy wouldn't leave for work, but rather would stay home with him. I'm thankful that although he didn't stay home and take care of us he was here to wish me a happy birthday before jetting off to make Wyatt "some money" and to bring him his $3 home per his request. 

I'm thankful for my two little babies. Who entertain each other while I curl up on the couch wishing away the crummies. Though it may be through screaming and tears I am thankful they enjoy playing together. 

I'm thankful for my parents who are always there for me and go above and beyond for anything I need. I'm thankful for the love they have for my children and the way they light up when they see them. 

I'm thankful for my friends, both real life and those who likely feel like they "know" me via social media. 

I'm blessed with so much at the age of 29. 

And, as a reminder, this email from Baptist came through this morning. 

They will be interviewing us for their #keeponamazing campaign soon and I just hope they use it. We sing constant praises to Baptist. I thank the Lord for placing us there and all the doctors and nurses who helped Ryan. It was perfect timing to receive the email and talk to the lady today. On a day when I'm just thankful to get to be celebrating with love from my family.

Facebook makes your birthday so special. The wishes you receive make your day. Or so I think. You do too even if you don't want to admit it. 

28 was my toughest year. It's obvious why. I nearly lost Ryan. The thought is still painful, but I'm a stronger person entering 29. 

I think I'm wiser, more emotional, and love harder than I ever did before. 

I'm ready to take on this year. To wrap up my twenties with a bang.  Here's to 29!