The Nitty Gritty part 2

Well, I am 11 weeks into being a mother of 2 kids. While my first "Nitty Gritty" post shared how hard I thought being a mother of 2 under was this post is to declare that the clouds have parted, the birds are singing, and life seems to be easy again. Sure, it's busier and we are slightly more tired but overall life just seems normal again.

I think we have adjusted to life with two little people. Correction: I know we have adjusted to life with two little people.

And you know what?

It's fun! So, so much fun!

I (we) are feeling so lucky because Claire is being a little rockstar and consistently sleeping 8-10 hours at night! She even threw in a 12 hour stretch in there earlier this week! She goes to bed at 6:30-7 and while that seems way to early, that's what she prefers. It would be like pulling teeth to try and get her to stay up any earlier so we just go with it! We don't hear from her until sometime after 4...you just never really know when it's going to be...sometimes 4, sometimes 6, sometimes 7! This morning it was 5:30. I can totally work with this...especially because I have a good husband who gets up for this feeding.

My heart is so happy with what God has blessed me with. I love being a mom to two kids. I love how busy the days are. Claire has started showing us more and more of her personality and she is just the sweetest little thing. What's crazy to me is how much I wanted two boys. I wanted (I thought) to be a boys mom because little girls slightly terrified me. But, what I know now is that God knew exactly what my heart needed. I needed a little boy to steal my heart first and then for a little girl to come along with the promise of always being my little princess. My heart just grows bigger and bigger each day I get to be with them.

I started back to work Monday doing my part-time hours like I had before. I'm working Monday-Wednesday and it went well. I, of course, missed them so much, but it was good for me to be away from them. To get a "breather" if you will before jumping back into "full-time" mommy mode the remainder of the week. This is the best balance I believe and I feel so fortunate that I am able to do this.

So to all you mommies who are awaiting the second baby (or even planning a second) it is hard at first, but I promise you it does get easier day by day. Just push through, keep praying for sanity, and know that just like with the first, it all pays off in the end.

The Nitty Gritty

No, not Dirt Band and Fishin' in the Dark even though I'd like to be...

I'm all about honesty, especially when it comes to the ole blog. I want to remember these first few weeks of what having two babies is like, no matter how hard they have been...

This week has been the real deal when it comes to how tough having two under two really is. At times, I have it completely together. Wyatt is in a good mood and Claire is staying awake longer and eating/sleeping well. Laundry is getting done and my teeth are getting brushed. At other times, I feel like my world has been turned upside down.

It's tough. Plain and simple.

And since we are being honest, there are days when I want to run away. Don't get all judgey on me either. Unless you've done the two under two yourself, in that case judge away friends. Judge away. But Sarah, you chose this you're thinking. Yes, I did. But, like with your first born, no one can truly express how it's going to be until you are personally experiencing it. Now back to running like Forrest. This doesn't happen on Saturday or Sunday because I have an extra set of hands. But the days I am alone I cry more than a teenage girl who has been broken up with for the first time. Ugly cries. Okay, so it's not ugly cries, but they do make me feel ugly. They are the "movie" cries. Yes, that's more accurate. And it seems to only be when I have two crying babies next to me. One is hungry and one just wants me to do something with him. That's the hard part... Not getting to do something with Wyatt. I hate telling him just a minute baby or can you wait just a second? I want to be able to drop everything and help him put in a cd when he can't quite get it to snap in there. I want to be able to let him do his laundry as soon as the dryer starts beeping at us, but a lot of the the time I cannot and crying ensues. Oh the crying. His fits didn't bother me before Claire, but now? My word they infuriate me and crush me at the same time. I tell him I'm sorry a lot.  He clearly doesn't understand though, but I desperatly wish that he did. I want him to know I'm sorry I'm busy. Sorry I have to put his needs on a back burner temporarily. Tough stuff I'm telling you! There are times I want to immediately pick up my sweet little newborn when she's crying ready for a bottle, but I also want to enjoy the time that I get to rock Wyatt to sleep for his nap since it only happens once a day. (He prefers his daddy at night.) She has cried more than Wyatt ever did as a newborn due to me fixing Wyatt lunch or changing his diaper. I know she will never know a difference, but it still hurts my heart.

Spreading my love between two kids is easy. Spreading my time between two is a little more challenging.

I want to soak up every minute of Claire's newborn stage and enjoy the last two months of Wyatt being a 1 year old, but at times I don't know how.

I think I have absolutely terrified Ryan a few times when he has come home and all three of us were crying. He has even asked me if I needed to go see my doctor. He's not the best at "talking" about emotions and what have you, but he does know what makes me happy. Presents! He brought me these home yesterday:

 and asked if I liked them if I liked them. Of course I did, but I said yah, but where am I supposed to wear them. Ha, I'm such a turd. He loves me still though I guess. He probably thinks I have PPD. I think I have the baby blues. I didn't have them with Wyatt. With Wyatt I was simply overwhelmed and cried when he was leaving to go back to work. How dare he leave me alone with a newborn! This time though I think I crave adult interaction even more. Someone to just sit with me. Someone to entertain my other child. I know the days will get easier, but my word right now I'd love to go back to work. Yep, I said it. Don't get me wrong I love my babies and being home with them, but right now I feel run ragged even though I'm getting way more sleep that I did in those first few weeks with Wyatt.

I know a day will come when the clouds will part, birds will sing, and life will be easy again.

I'm ready for that. I truly am. But I'm also not ready to wish away some of the best days of my life. The days where I do have two in diapers and I get to capture sweet moments like this...

 

 

Being a mom to one was easy, but not near as fulfilling as being a mom to two. (For me.)

My new normal starts tomorrow

This week my "real" life starts. I will be staying at home with two kids. Two babies. To say that I'm nervous would probably be an understatement.

I've had it pretty easy the past week. Ryan has been home with me and has been a huge help around the house. He started out with a bang early in the week when we arrived home with Claire and has actually began to slowly taper off in the "chores'' he has been doing. I can't say that I blame him. House work sucks. Picking up after a nearly 2 year old sucks. Running on just a little bit of sleep sucks. We've even been wanting to punch each other in the face here and there simply because that's what happens when you have been together for 11 days straight. Or at least it is us. Not to mention the lack of normal amount of sleep doesn't help at all. I don't want to wish away Claire's newborn stage. At all. I guess I have Wyatt to thank for making me patient over the last 22 months because I know that this time I have a whole lot more than I did when he was an  itty bitty baby.

Tomorrow, my extra set of hands return to work. Someone has to bring home the bacon...That leaves me with two little mouths to feeds and two little bottoms to wipe. I'm nervous how I'm going to handle not being able to ask for help at any second. I'm nervous how I'm going to handle two crying babies. I know it can be done because mommies do it everyday. It's normal to be slightly terrified right? Somebody please tell me yes. I will so desperately look forward to lunch time when Ryan will come home. This is my new normal though. I am so fortunate to be able to be home while my babies are in fact babies. I just ask though, that if you read this, you take a little minute to say a tiny prayer for me. Please?

I've got lots of this coming ahead...can't possibly complain!

Becoming a mother of 2

I am very quickly approaching the status of being a mom of "two under two."

In approximately 35 days give or take, my life is going to change very dramatically yet again.

My heart is going to double in love.

My bank account is going to be cut in half.

But more importantly, my heart is going to double in love.

To be honest, I cannot fathom loving another child as much as I do Wyatt.

In fact, it terrifies me.

However, I know that while I cannot even imagine this, I know that it's going to happen very naturally. God has so perfectly chosen this little girl for our family and I know that the love that comes with her is going to be amazing. My heart is ready for another baby. It's ready to burst just seeing Wyatt interact with her, to learn her name, to give her kisses, to hold her, to protect her, to be there for her.

Kids are amazing. They truly are. They can bring you the greatest joy and bring you to tears without even trying. Trust me, I've shed plenty of tears within the last weeks over Wyatt...over his "only child" status. I know that he will never know life without a sibling and for that I am thankful. I know that he is going to fall into this big brother role effortlessly and I continually pray that it's an easy adjustment for him. I ask, if you think about it, to say a little prayer for him too.

What's so funny about this pregnancy is that I'm constantly asked if this is my last baby. I always reply with a "it's not off the table." Truthfully, it's not. We may or may not decide to expand our family yet again, but right now I want to soak up my little boy and my little girl that I've yet to even meet. I want to cherish the time with my two babies as much as I cherish (am cherishing) my time with Wyatt before a third baby is in question. (So I guess give me about 6 or 7 months after I have Claire- ha!)

I would be lying if I said I didn't have fears about being a mother of two. How to split my time. How to feel like I've still got it all together. How to make sure things get done around the house when I sometimes struggle now with one. How to make sure Wyatt still feels important when I have a newborn that truly needs me. How do I not see Wyatt as completely grown up and so big once Claire gets home. A thousand questions run through my mind. Yet, I know that people do this all the time. Heck, my mom did it nearly 30 years ago with me and my brother who just like my babies will be 22 months apart.

I am so, so lucky to have a mother and mother-in-law who are very willing to help us out when/if we need it. During these last couple of weeks, I know that I'm naturally going to get more and more tired. More so than I already am. This is when I know I can call my mom without hesitation and ask for a couple hours of rest and she'll be there to pick up Wyatt. Those first few days after I have Claire I know I will need my mom more than anything. She will probably get tired of me. Not Wyatt or Claire but definitely me. Ha!

So yes, while I am very, very excited about having another baby and I am nervous. I know what to expect in a way, but also I don't. Claire is a totally different person than Wyatt and while I hope she is an easy baby like Wyatt was I'm definitely ready for the challenge if not. She is going to be such a wonderful addition to our family. I am looking forward to holding her, kissing on her, but most importantly, introducing her to her big brother.

If any mothers of two babies have any advice send it my way!!