This is our's crazy, it's hectic, but most of all it's fun!

Thursday, February 21, 2013

The Nitty Gritty

No, not Dirt Band and Fishin' in the Dark even though I'd like to be...

I'm all about honesty, especially when it comes to the ole blog. I want to remember these first few weeks of what having two babies is like, no matter how hard they have been...

This week has been the real deal when it comes to how tough having two under two really is. At times, I have it completely together. Wyatt is in a good mood and Claire is staying awake longer and eating/sleeping well. Laundry is getting done and my teeth are getting brushed. At other times, I feel like my world has been turned upside down.

It's tough. Plain and simple.

And since we are being honest, there are days when I want to run away. Don't get all judgey on me either. Unless you've done the two under two yourself, in that case judge away friends. Judge away. But Sarah, you chose this you're thinking. Yes, I did. But, like with your first born, no one can truly express how it's going to be until you are personally experiencing it. Now back to running like Forrest. This doesn't happen on Saturday or Sunday because I have an extra set of hands. But the days I am alone I cry more than a teenage girl who has been broken up with for the first time. Ugly cries. Okay, so it's not ugly cries, but they do make me feel ugly. They are the "movie" cries. Yes, that's more accurate. And it seems to only be when I have two crying babies next to me. One is hungry and one just wants me to do something with him. That's the hard part... Not getting to do something with Wyatt. I hate telling him just a minute baby or can you wait just a second? I want to be able to drop everything and help him put in a cd when he can't quite get it to snap in there. I want to be able to let him do his laundry as soon as the dryer starts beeping at us, but a lot of the the time I cannot and crying ensues. Oh the crying. His fits didn't bother me before Claire, but now? My word they infuriate me and crush me at the same time. I tell him I'm sorry a lot.  He clearly doesn't understand though, but I desperatly wish that he did. I want him to know I'm sorry I'm busy. Sorry I have to put his needs on a back burner temporarily. Tough stuff I'm telling you! There are times I want to immediately pick up my sweet little newborn when she's crying ready for a bottle, but I also want to enjoy the time that I get to rock Wyatt to sleep for his nap since it only happens once a day. (He prefers his daddy at night.) She has cried more than Wyatt ever did as a newborn due to me fixing Wyatt lunch or changing his diaper. I know she will never know a difference, but it still hurts my heart.

Spreading my love between two kids is easy. Spreading my time between two is a little more challenging.

I want to soak up every minute of Claire's newborn stage and enjoy the last two months of Wyatt being a 1 year old, but at times I don't know how.

I think I have absolutely terrified Ryan a few times when he has come home and all three of us were crying. He has even asked me if I needed to go see my doctor. He's not the best at "talking" about emotions and what have you, but he does know what makes me happy. Presents! He brought me these home yesterday:

 and asked if I liked them if I liked them. Of course I did, but I said yah, but where am I supposed to wear them. Ha, I'm such a turd. He loves me still though I guess. He probably thinks I have PPD. I think I have the baby blues. I didn't have them with Wyatt. With Wyatt I was simply overwhelmed and cried when he was leaving to go back to work. How dare he leave me alone with a newborn! This time though I think I crave adult interaction even more. Someone to just sit with me. Someone to entertain my other child. I know the days will get easier, but my word right now I'd love to go back to work. Yep, I said it. Don't get me wrong I love my babies and being home with them, but right now I feel run ragged even though I'm getting way more sleep that I did in those first few weeks with Wyatt.

I know a day will come when the clouds will part, birds will sing, and life will be easy again.

I'm ready for that. I truly am. But I'm also not ready to wish away some of the best days of my life. The days where I do have two in diapers and I get to capture sweet moments like this...
Being a mom to one was easy, but not near as fulfilling as being a mom to two. (For me.)


  1. 2 under 2 is rough!

    Crying is completely normal. I did that too on rough days. What got me through the days was prepping so much the night before. (bottles, Logans food even on plates already etc - maybe try that?)

    Many hugs!!

  2. Hang in there mama! You'll get through this, some day will be harder, but then itlll get easier! I had those days too, I think it's only normal!

  3. I LOVE your realism! I know exactly what you are going through. It is difficult to have to prioritize your children's needs and not being able to get it all done at once. That can't be changed, but you should try to spare yourself the guilt! Making lists, such as a few goals for the following day really helped me. Take one day at a time, all the while reminding yourself that this is a season. A season that will pass even though at times it may seem that time is hardly moving. Baby blues should pass in a week or two. I will be praying for you to have: joy, peace, a sound mind, patience, confidence, and sweet sleep.


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