16 and Pregnant

I have a slight addiction to 16 and Pregnant.

It is without a doubt on the list of shows this little momma should not be watching. I have been a dedicated fan of the show since it started but watch the show now with a different set of eyes...mommy eyes.

I cry every single show and it is only during the birthing part. I don't know what it is. I think it's hormones. I think it's fear. I think it's confusion. I think it's paranoia. I think it's excitement. I think it's... Hmm. Sometimes I just don't know what it is.

Today I watched the episoded where the poor girl was in labor for 20+ hours and the one thing she didn't want was a C-Section. I can relate. That is the last thing I want too...She was struggling bless her heart. All these little teeny boppers make labor seem absolutely horrendous. I think I live in a fairy tale world where I don't think it's going to be that bad. I'm not normally a sugar-coater. In fact, I never am...but in this case I feel like I need to be. I see them crying, panicking, making it appear as though this is the worst day of their life. I am petrified. I've decided I want the birth process to be as natural as possible...epidural. What epidural? I like to think that I will be able to handle the birthing process. Yes, it is going to be the scariest day of my life and the hardest thing I will probably put myself through. The pain is going to be unbearable and to quote Knocked Up, "I can feel everything!!!" This will be me. My husband and my mother who are going to be in the room during the delivery of Wyatt will probably want to punch me in the face. That is, if I can even go without getting the epidural. My best friend is a Labor and Delivery nurse at the hospital where I will be giving birth. We have a $20 bet (she will claim $50) regarding this epidural. I want to win. More than anything. But, with that said, I'm not going to be the type of person that is going to be so head-strong regarding this matter, refusing to do what is best for not only me but mostly for my baby. Whereas I do not want a C-Section or to be scheduled for an inducement, I understand that somethings are out of my hands. My doctor will know what is best for me and I have faith in putting mine and Wyatt's safety into someone else's hands...Gah, I am so scared about child birth...mostly the pain! Haha

But, back to being 16 with a bun in the oven...I am always rooting for the couple. I never want to see a child born into a family where the dad has checked out and the mom is sitting there hanging on to the fact that they could still be "family." I just want to hug the poor girls and tell them, that there is a plan for you and it may be the farthest thing from what you want, but there is a plan and it's your job to make sure that you do what is best for your child. Daddy's who get mad at you for wanting to get your high school diploma and won't watch their child for a couple hours while you get caught up on school work are not the person for you. You want someone supportive...A daddy who goes and buys speakers for his car rather than saving money so you can get a place live and feel remotely independent of your families needs to grow up. Daddy's who are jealous of their babies are disgusting and will never change. I feel so terrible for these girls...Babies are such a blessing. Not everyone is lucky enough to experience what not only myself, but these kids are getting to. My heart breaks for women who are waiting days, months, and years to have the baby that they have prayed for and then there are the young kids that don't even seem the least bit excited about it, but more focused on whether the relationship with the baby daddy will work. I want to slap them in the face and say, be thankful. Cherish what you have. I think it's a frustration I have. I am beyond thankful to have little Wyatt growing inside of me. I am beyond thankful that I have a husband who is going to be a great asset in Wyatt's life. I love that I got pregnant when I did and I am forever thankful that He chose Ryan and I to be Wyatt's parents. I could never imagine being such a tender age and trying to raise a kid, especially alone. I am rooting for you girls that you will prove everyone wrong and you will make all the right choices from here on out for not only yourself, but those precious little babies you are producing!